So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
im holly from the hills drunk
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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