she was so not down for the gang bang
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
this is an emotional support booty call
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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