White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
