i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
