low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I intend to get homeless drunk
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
