you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize