GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
