Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
