whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
