Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
