i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I have feelings that need drinking.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
