Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
