i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
