its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
