his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
