You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
