Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
