You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
But theres a keg here and me gusta
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
