she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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