turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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