Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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