If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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