at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
