Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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