Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
