He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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