New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize