Sponge bath it is.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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