Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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