Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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