accomplished twins. life is a go
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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