they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
