theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Randomize
