What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
