I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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