Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
