haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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