i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
