I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Just cropdusted the office
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
