oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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