Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
