I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
