but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
