For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
