There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
