I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize