hotel room ftw
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
