You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
