Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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