Its about making memories worth repressing
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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