ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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