he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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