I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
