dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
