do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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