TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
