I wish you could order shots online.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
