Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
