i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Terrible idea I love it
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
