It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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